Should I really choose this person as my bridesmaid?
I recently got engaged and am having a small dilemma. I think I already know my answer, and have consulted friends and family but would also like to get some non-biased opinions. I had a very close friend in HS, we were like sisters. I actually met my current fiance because SHE is dating his brother. So techincally, she would be my sister in law if they were to ever get married. Over the last 2 1/2 years of being with my boyfriend, our friendship has really changed. We haven't been close and I've actually felt like she really dislikes me because of her changed behavior towards me. But, they broke up for a few months this year and in that period, we became much closer. After they got back together, that ended. Recently there was an incident, and I tried telling her that I felt like we weren't friends anymore and I really wish it weren't that way. I told her I was tired of always trying to contact her and get together with her, because she never made an effort towards me anymore. She seemed caring and said it would change, but it hasn't. I still feel uncomfortable around her, and she has no interest what so ever in my personal life or anything with me. She seems to act like everything I do/buy/talk about is stupid and annoying to her (ie, when I bought my car, she told me I shouldn't because the payments would be too high... even though I make plenty to pay for it. She's never "noticed" I've lost weight, even though I've went from 180 to 130. She has never congratulated any accomplishment I've had, even though all my other friends do.). I thought maybe I had just changed, but after consulting friends, realized that THEY all love me just the same... I am not sure what I did to her... others tell me it is a combination of jealousy... since I have lost weight, got a much better paying job than I had before, new car and now am getting married and she is not. I do not name people as "jealous" of me, but this is what others have all told me. The problem is, my fiance's brother WILL be in the wedding. So that would be a big slap in the face to her. This will be like the final straw to end our friendship. I maybe should let our friendship go since I have tried so many times to revive it, and she acts like she is interested but then does NOTHING about it. I'm not sure if I should just be polite and have her in it, or consider it a very special part of my life where only people who love and care about me should be...
Asked By: Charlene - 1/5/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I could have written your post, deleting the wedding part. I had a friend just like yours. I began to excel, find love, lost 44 lbs, all while my life was gaining positive momentum. While I was there to support her with the death of her father and the unexpected death of her husband, helped her financially when she... More
Answered By: Common Sense - 1/5/2012
Additional Answers (4)
This situation is tough...but this is a case where you need to think about YOU. Who cares if she gets mad, she can do whatever she wants at her wedding. IT'S YOUR DAY! Don't regret inviting her for the rest of your life if that's what you didn't want to do. It doesn't matter if you met your fiance through her...she... More
Answered By: Matin - 1/5/2012
She sounds like a real bummer to be around. Why would you want someone in your wedding party who isn't happy for you? Don't ask her to participate, just invite her as a guest. It doesn't sound like she's interested in being your friend any more. You'll be looking at your pictures for a long time... More
Answered By: Alison - 1/5/2012
I don't think anyone can tell you what to do, but I do know this much: Your reasons for wanting to include her aren't particularly good ones. Just because her bro is in the wedding party doesn't mean she should be, and that would be true even if you still remained close... More
Answered By: Messykatt - 1/5/2012
Hmm, this is very tricky... More
Answered By: SavanahMyRick - 1/5/2012
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