can you change a person?
my brother runs a currently unprofitable business. he's quite an intelligent person (and i mean....among the smartest 'brilliant' kinda person).....he has great ideas and if everything falls in place, he has the potential to make it big. he's nice, caring, loving son/bro. but there are few major probs that we are facing. 1. he's been transferring funds from our mum's saving w/o her knowledge - his business is currently not making profits. he constantly needs money for office supplies, employee salary....in 3 months he's taken some 3,000$ as loan. it's a joint a/c bet him n our mum. when i ask him why he can't tell mum about it....he just replies that he'll inform the collective amount when we do our taxes and if he manages to repay some amount, he'll not tell about that amount. the only defense i can give from his side is that my mum can be quite unreasonable. for her, it's always about finishing education, going for a job.....starting your own business is not for you, someone else. 2. he's really, really rude and makes a big deal out of nothing - he's called me stupid, coward, useless he just flips out at non issues like - the checks and account statements aren't kept at a place he wants em to be. he's really rude to our mum as well. but....mum has been very rude to him too and said some nasty stuff to him like 'i gave birth to a devil...' etc. it was completely uncalled for.... my mum and him don't seem to get along.... 3. he's been pushing me to take care of part of business - it started out as innocent "overlooking".....now i am handling part of his business. now he's talking about me playing a bigger role! when i say - i don't wanna do it.......he whines about how he has no time to do stuff....he gives me example of others who were "pushed" to take care of business by their fathers and they made it biiiiiig or he wd have hired someone else....but the business is already making losses right now...... 4. he's a procrastinator....i am a procrastinator too.....but i really don't have a business that's sucking family money. ...he doesn't want to procrastinate......is avoiding "failing at something" i wanna help my bro......but i have big dreams of my own! frankly, i am just currently pushing it so that his business can take some shape. like, the other day, i said that i am going to start looking for a job. his reply was "right now, it's better that you take care of that role in my business" i am sooooo sick of all this!! i'm trying to keep this family together, i feel my life is falling apart. my bro n mum don't even try to resolve there infinite differences. i try to drill some sense in my bro to change his ways.....but he starts tussling about my traits. if he's losing an argument.......he starts attacking me personally. i love my family n i love my bro.......but i am just exhausted of trying to improve situation. my bro refuses to change his ways saying "a person's behavior cannot be changed". so bottom line.........what can i do to improve situation in my family?? how can i change my bro....make him less rude and less procrastinating. i want things to change.......i sometimes just feel like running away....sometimes, i just want to shift to another city with my mum? can you pls tell me what to do? i am going crazy and losing my peace of mind n sleep! thank you soooo much for reading all this! any suggestion is appreciated......shrinks are bl oody expensive!
Asked By: Y! answerer - 2/9/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
It's a real tough situation and really feeling for you and your family... More
Answered By: Manish - 2/9/2012
Additional Answers (5)
You can't change anyone but yourself. By playing a role in his business, and keeping silent about the things like your feelings about him using your mum's money without her knowledge, you're enabling him. There are some fundamental business practices that he must do if he's going to have a chance to succeed. #1 he... More
Answered By: Dan - 2/9/2012
Yes, if we love him/her than we can change anyone
Answered By: Kaushal - 2/9/2012
You can not change any one.
Answered By: visnarayan - 2/9/2012
The fact is your brother is a lethargic and irresponsible guy, who will not change under any circumstances. He is beyond change and wants to have his own way in everything. Your brother has himself stated that a person's behavior cannot be changed, and that shows how conceited and selfish he is. Open a new account and... More
Answered By: dannyboy - 2/9/2012
Answered By: swt pie - 2/9/2012
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