What do you think of the main character in my story?
Name: Bradley Age: 26 Appearance: medium brown side-swept hair, Brown eyes. Background: Originally from England but now living in New York, Bradley is quite a serious and quiet young man as a result of a traumatic past. His mother was a alcoholic and his Father a drug dealer who was rarely at home. Two weeks after falling pregnant his mother was out drinking with his father at a friends house, they were driving back home when his mother collapsed at the steering wheel resulting in a crash. Bradley's father died two days later in hospital leaving only his mother. The loss of her boyfriend (Bradley's father) made her even more abusive towards alcohol and drugs. when she found out she was pregnant she was close to having an abortion but decided to skip the appointment for some midday-drinking. When Bradley was born, he was born into an abusive home. He was also born with dyslexia and ADHD and is lucky that he wasn't effected severely by him mothers alcohol and drug abuse. He was often left alone at the age of just 4 while his mum went out drinking or locked in his room when his mother had 'friends' over. By the time he was 10 he adopted his mothers ways and began to smoke and drink. One night when he came home from the park at midnight and his mother was even more drunk and high than usual. She hit him in the head and he hit the corner of a wall very hard resulting in a scar just under his hairline next to his left ear. He swore at her and told her that he hated her and wished she would die. He ran out of the house and didn't return that night. When he returned the next morning there were fire engines and police cars out side of his burn down home. (not literally burn to the ground but completely fire damaged) His mum had burnt to death in the house after falling passing out with a lit cigarette in her hand. Soon after this Bradley moved in with his uncle. His uncle was an accomplished artist and was living in a large bungalow. by the time Bradley was 16 he had over come all of his drinking and drug problems and was now like any other teenager. You wouldn't of realised that anything bad had ever happened to him. When he finally left university with Art, music and drama and some of his main qualifications (or whatever they are called.) he decided he wanted to make a fresh start. he saved for a while and when he was 23 he moved to New York. Once there he started out in a few plays and made enough for a living on top of part time jobs where ever he could. But after a while a few of the companies he was working for closed down leaving him with no money. He was taken in by a man named Frankie who helped him get by but found out soon that Frankie was a small time criminal taking odd jobs where ever he could. He works with Frankie for three years and buys his own car. Then he gets a call about doing a job for one of the most well know gang leaders in New York. Mr Green. This is where the story begins. Also when I posted this before I was told about how getting to New York to work would have been difficult with Art, Drama and Music degrees. I will look into that and work out how I will make that fit in. So what do you think. Do you think it is cliche in any way. By the way if it is I have not copied it from anywhere I have actually based it around one of my friends. Is there any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism anyone wants to give me is there anything I should change? sorry for any grammatical errors, I typed it up fast did anyone read the bit where is said that i typed it up fast and i was sorry for any mistakes. This isn't the actual story so forget about the paragraphs and concentrate on the content
Asked By: Rock'n'Roller - 2/16/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Nothing is cliche. Just forget that... More
Answered By: Pecos Bill - 2/16/2012
Additional Answers (5)
The biggest problem I have, is that your first paragraph is too long making it hard to read.
Answered By: Jim Shoe - 2/16/2012
Hi Learn more.
Answered By: Md - 2/16/2012
Answered By: Andrea - 2/16/2012
Take an English class sometime.
Answered By: judi - 2/16/2012
Why would you type it up fast? Don't you want people to take you seriously? Is it so hard to press the "enter" key, or to make your post presentable so others can actually *read* what you typed up without having to strain their eyes or mark their place in the giant wall of text... More
Answered By: Faye Wulfgar - 2/16/2012
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