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Help will this financial aid appeal letter good enough to get approved?

Dear Financial Aid Adviser, I writing to ask you to appeal my suspension of financial aid. Due to the unfortunate circumstances that have occurred in the past year regarding my hectic work schedule, my focus on get in the air force reserve, and then overwhelm with some tuff classes have resulted in forced to withdrawal from classes and failure to earn the proper grade point average. I was working at a job that require you to work overnight that took a toll on me and my school work. Everyday I would work wii hour in the morning then have to go straight the school right after. The lack of sleep made me unable to focus on my school work. Another reason was that I was trying to get into the military what a good amount of my time. As I was in military training they made me realize how important getting education is. The military give me the discipline to manage my time with work and school that will ultimately help me focus on my education more. I’ve taken the correct steps in getting myself back on track here at Tidewater Community College. The first step is to cut my hours at work to 15-20 a week, to leave time for study and tutoring. The second step will be to talk more with my classmate, form study groups. I will participate more in class, ask more questions if necessary. Due to the economic hardships my family and I face, the only way I can afford to pay for an higher education is with financial aid. I fully understand the consequences and take full responsibility for failing to meet the academic requirements. I am going to make a promise to myself and to you to undertake a commitment to proving that I am a much more responsible and diligent that I was a year ago. I will also take steps to prevent such occurrence from interfering with my studies ever again. So I ask, please carefully consider reinstating financial aid so that I may progress from those times of adversity, towards and honest college education.Thanks you for your time and consideration. Sincerely yours,

Asked By: - 2/26/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
You have some serious grammatical errors in this draft. I suggest taking it to an English teacher to help with revision. I can tell you that many students hold full-time jobs, raise families and take a full course load without having to drop classes. It is doubtful that they will reinstate your financial aid, but may... More
Answered By: Tamara - 2/26/2012
Additional Answers (2)
Let me guess, one of the "tuff" classes was English... More
Answered By: Gypsy - 2/26/2012
 
As a former financial aid officer I would have had sympathy for you, but would not have approved the appeal. You were not making the required Satisfactory Academic Progress, so even if I had wanted to, I could not have waived that. Very occasionally exceptions are made for students whose situation is due to... More
Answered By: nancy - 2/26/2012
 
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