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What do you think of my Plot so far.?

The main character is called Echoe Truesilver (because when her foster father first found her all she could do was echo the last word a person said. She was like four or five and had suffered from a fever that left her without her memories. Oddly enough she knew her real fathers last name was Silversea and her mothers last name had been Truett.) She is a thief and can use magic. She steals from the duke and ends up being betrayed by her childhood friend. Boarding the ship her father works on she sets sail for another country. The ship is hit by storm and she is pulled off. She floats all the way to a country that she really didnt want to be in. She is found by Nine St Veris ( His name is nine because his real fathers ninth mistress was the person who gave birth to him. So his name is Nine for that.) He is an elite soldier in a group called the reaper squad. ( its his job to take out "insurgents") He and Echoe become really close. One day one of his fellow squad members finds out hes been harboring a her and the leader orders him to kill her. He doesnt want to and ends up being chased by his team members and other soldiers. They arrive at his house where his father is ready to kill her. He tells his son the truth about alot of things, namely how the leader is his father. He tries to kill Echoe but Nine ends up stabbing him before his father can do it. They leave and then bunk up with some "insurgents" He found out that some really are insurgents and some are pawns in his fathers game used to keep him busy until he becomes the next leader. Finnally he leaves after fighting and thy head to the next country. While in the country they learn about a reward. If they kill the "beast" they get alot of money. while hunting for it they save a girl being taken away by slavers. they save her and she invites them to her home. Her Name is Kira Beaos. Later she turns out to be the beast. They let her live. After staying for awhile Echoe has the same dream over and over. A fourtune teller has her go across the river into a different country. Upon entering the Royal city echoe faints. She wakes up and meets a girl named El Erihaia Fe Eu Sol. Shes the princess ( and Echoes twin from a different father) She remembers her past life and tells the others about how if they dont regain their immortality, they'll die ( Because its been a thousand years since they gave it up.) And that they have to find one more person. They get caught by some gaurds and are taken to the palace because it is thought that they kiddnapped the princess. The Emperor lets them go because he notices echoe is his daughter. (he doesnt tell anyone) and they go on to meet Leon Ma'ple. He is the last guy but they dont know that. he convinces Nine to enter a fighting tournemnet. Thats all for now. What do you think? I explained the names because you might wonder why? Only the royals and some nobles can use magic in this world. Its like a genetic thing. Oddly enough each one of these characters can use it except Leon

Asked By: - 3/29/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
It sounds well thought out, so well done. However you didn't mention anything about your magic system. You just said "she can use magic". The magic system would make or break the story for me so I'd want to know more about that.
Answered By: Phoenix - 3/29/2012
Additional Answers (1)
it. sounds. AMAZING. please publish it and work on it it sounds absolutely incredible and very well thought out. i would definitely keep going with it (or start it, i don't know if you've worked on anything but the plot yet) it seems incredible and i would love to read a story like this :)
Answered By: Dragon Girl - 3/29/2012
 
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