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Why isn't there a place for me in this world?

I am condemned to be a lone wolf for the rest of my life. I'm 21, almost 22. I haven't accomplished anything relevant yet, despite a long relationship with a girl (who, of course, broke my heart) and being in college.

My personality just doesn't belong to this world standards. I'm not anti-social, I have 20 friends who I know well, but I am shy most of the time and this shyness comes from a trouble youth, self-esteem issues and a broken home. I can't be more outgoing, it is too d**n difficult, and, believe me, I've tried to be.

But I've always felt different than the ones with my age. I don't drink and I don't smoke weed. I used to, but I stopped it, because I was betraying my true self jumping on that. I prefere a good talk about topics like music, movies, literature, politics... And most people probably find me boring... Because I'm not that alpha male, that guy who does risky things to impress girls, who talks loud, who is aggressive. I don't shine... I never do. And frankly I don't like to be the center of attention.

I'm lost. Some of my friends know me since ten years ago, but I don't feel that proximity with'em. I never really found people like me. I don't know where they are - probably, typing some question like this in yahoo answers. You can say 'join a group that share your interests' and I did. I love music, is my main passion, and I worked some time in the underground hardcore scene of my town (I'm straight edge, if you still didn't notice it). Booking shows, meeting bands, that stuff. But the more I was into that scene, the more I felt alone. Everyone just tries to be the most popular, the most loud. Too many drunk people, too many cocaine lovers, too many whores... Underground music, in my opinion, is not deviant like they say. It's just a sad reflection of what mainstream society is.

I feel old. Time is passing me by. Youth is going away. And I am alone. It depresses me. I always have the urge to cry. I'm trying to found some light. I go to the gym, I try to be positive, eat healthy (I want to become vegetarian soon) but it is so difficult. There is no one to share moments with you, to love as you really are, without masks. I want a woman who can love me as I am and not demands me to be someone else. And I don't want a supermodel, a super hot chick... I don't care that much about looks, belive me. I wish I could found someone with who I could talk for hours about anything, who has brains, who wants to travel with me and just be positive together.

But I guess I ask too much. This world... This world is a pure mess.

Asked By: Henry - 9/13/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Hey man,

I was just like you. Let me tell you. Vegan, Straight Edge, every night at a new venue for a different show. It consumed my life. All these hardcore bands screaming about loyalty, a place to call home, family.. those people in those crowds will eat you up and spit you out. The chicks in that scene only want to jump on the first vocalists' dick they can and dudes make crews so they can mosh harder than everyone else. It took me almost 10 years to realize how currupt what used to feel so close to my heart, actually was. Its high school. Its popularity. I used to get lost in the music, and I had such passion for it, but those people just killed me.

So I joined the Army. I felt lost. I had a mom and dad, but that's it. No real family, my friends were all shady, and dudes were f-cking lame. I got my AA in a major that wouldn't help me unless I furthered my education, but I had no means to do so in the cut throat state of California. I decided to devote all this passion I had to the military - and if I was gonna die atleast I'd die for a cause.

It was probably the worst mistake of my life. My social anxiety increased. After my enlistment, I now have severe PTSD, I was (am battling) depessed.

I'm actually really happy I came across this post, because this is exactly how I felt. I was so lost and depressed and its starting to setlle in again.

ANYWAYS - you're not alone. That's why I just rambled on about myself. Here's my advice:

- LIVE IN THE GYM, you will gain so many more positivie emotions. Its so hard to explain, but you really will. Not just false cockiness like, "I look really good", but there is just something about being physically strong, and its a place to be alone with your thoughts where you can become emotionally strong.

- Pick a smaller group of true friends, who know you well. I had my group of friends, I thought would be there with me through anything. Had a "crew". Did everything for them. When I came back from the military nobody even cared. I didn't even get a letter while I was in basic training. Nothing. People will f-ck you over. Just be yourself. Find people to confide it. Harden your heart!

- Keep being knowledgable and passionate about politics. You're the future.

- Go to school. Even online school. Find something to put your intelligence to use.

- Get a job you can find happiness in. Even if its bullsh-t retail. It will be good for you. Once you get that degree, you'll get a job where you'll find financial security and sh-t will fall into place.

- Don't go around looking for a woman. Chicks can sense desperation - and if you treat them too well they'll bounce. Don't look for someone in the hardcore scene. Don't even look for someone straight edge. Find someone at school, or work. That scene is just bad news, and too many politics fall into place.

- F-CK SOCIAL MEDIA. I was so much happier after I quit using facebook, myspace, etc.

Hit me up if you need anything. Stay up.

xxx
Answered By: farrahchrist - 9/14/2012
Additional Answers ()
As soon as you possibly can - go travelling and see as much of the world as possible. You will find that the way you feel is based on where you live.

You will meet such a varied and different amount of people on your travels you will realize there are more people like you than different. Also you will have more chance of meeting a girl who is loving and family orientated than you would where you live. There are still plenty of countries whose values do not revolve around television, designer clothes and everything that is just generally bad about consumer society.
Answered By: Christine - 9/14/2012
Ur not the only one who feels like that.
thats all i can say.

i recommend living as your own example.
Answered By: jaedacoy - 9/14/2012
It's easy to feel old when very few things are going well. But sometimes it only takes one thing, one person to care to make things right again. Keep looking for people, events, and objects that make you happy. It's never too late to make a change in your life that will ultimately turn your life around. You just have to figure out what that change is going to be.

If you can figure out what helps you keep talking to people you want to when you are feeling ready to, and what helps you feel good about being shy when you need to be shy, then you'll have your path laid out. We all start out a little shy about new relationships. That's what makes it so special when people actually come out to you and show you a little bit of themselves.

Don't worry about being too old. I'm almost twice your age and I've never had as many relationships as you have. Focus on yourself, making yourself well, and becoming more self-reliant. For some people the strong silent type is actually not only attractive, but much healthier. Focus on the positive things you have going on. People will notice a change in your attitude and be more likely to gravitate towards you. And for those who don't, it's their loss.

Have fun out there!
Also look for resources for people like us. Try a few links below.
Source(s):
nami.org nolongerlonely.com http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/
Answered By: sandra_panda - 9/13/2012
Fight Depression.

Life is an emotional roller coaster. Some days you feel like nothing can stop you. Other days you feel utterly hopeless. Most of the time you’re somewhere in between. Understanding the pattern of positive and negative emotions will help you put your feelings in perspective. Next time you feel down, just remember that it’s a natural emotion that will inevitably pass. Knowing that a feeling of depression is only temporary makes it less dreadful.

~ Spend time with positive people.

~ When you consider everything good in your life and compare it to the problems of less fortunate people, the issue that’s making you depressed won’t seem as serious.

~ Change the scenery (environment), just make changes to anything (may be rearranging your room).

~ Going through the same routine, day after day, can be monotonous and depressing. It often leads to getting caught in a rut. To get out of it you need to temporarily change your routine. If you can, take a day off from work. Do something you don’t normally have time for or something you’ve never tried. In the long run, taking a day off every now and then to get out of slump will make you happier and more productive.

~ Animals and nature live in the present moment and they show love unconditionally. Observing and interacting with them will help you get over your problems.

~Above all, the best way to stop feeling depressed is to take action. What is your biggest problem? How can you alleviate it? Once you decide to stop moping and start moving forward you won’t have time to feel depressed. Action will occupy your mind and give you something to look forward to. Once you get some results, you’ll build momentum and positive thinking will keep getting easier.
Answered By: jazzy_gal - 9/13/2012
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