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Why isn't there a place for me in this world?

I am condemned to be a lone wolf for the rest of my life. I'm 21, almost 22. I haven't accomplished anything relevant yet, despite a long relationship with a girl (who, of course, broke my heart) and being in college. My personality just doesn't belong to this world standards. I'm not anti-social, I have 20 friends who I know well, but I am shy most of the time and this shyness comes from a trouble youth, self-esteem issues and a broken home. I can't be more outgoing, it is too d**n difficult, and, believe me, I've tried to be. But I've always felt different than the ones with my age. I don't drink and I don't smoke weed. I used to, but I stopped it, because I was betraying my true self jumping on that. I prefere a good talk about topics like music, movies, literature, politics... And most people probably find me boring... Because I'm not that alpha male, that guy who does risky things to impress girls, who talks loud, who is aggressive. I don't shine... I never do. And frankly I don't like to be the center of attention. I'm lost. Some of my friends know me since ten years ago, but I don't feel that proximity with'em. I never really found people like me. I don't know where they are - probably, typing some question like this in yahoo answers. You can say 'join a group that share your interests' and I did. I love music, is my main passion, and I worked some time in the underground hardcore scene of my town (I'm straight edge, if you still didn't notice it). Booking shows, meeting bands, that stuff. But the more I was into that scene, the more I felt alone. Everyone just tries to be the most popular, the most loud. Too many drunk people, too many cocaine lovers, too many whores... Underground music, in my opinion, is not deviant like they say. It's just a sad reflection of what mainstream society is. I feel old. Time is passing me by. Youth is going away. And I am alone. It depresses me. I always have the urge to cry. I'm trying to found some light. I go to the gym, I try to be positive, eat healthy (I want to become vegetarian soon) but it is so difficult. There is no one to share moments with you, to love as you really are, without masks. I want a woman who can love me as I am and not demands me to be someone else. And I don't want a supermodel, a super hot chick... I don't care that much about looks, belive me. I wish I could found someone with who I could talk for hours about anything, who has brains, who wants to travel with me and just be positive together. But I guess I ask too much. This world... This world is a pure mess.

Asked By: - 9/13/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Hey man... More
Answered By: farrahchrist - 9/15/2012
Additional Answers (4)
It's easy to feel old when very few things are going well. But sometimes it only takes one thing, one person to care to make things right again. Keep looking for people, events, and objects that make you happy. It's never too late to make a change in your life that will ultimately turn your life around. You just... More
Source(s):
Answered By: sandra_panda - 9/13/2012
 
Fight Depression... More
Answered By: jazzy_gal - 9/14/2012
 
As soon as you possibly can - go travelling and see as much of the world as possible. You will find that the way you feel is based on where you live... More
Answered By: Christine - 9/14/2012
 
ur not the only one who feels like that. thats all i can say. i recommend living as your own example.
Answered By: jaedacoy - 9/14/2012
 
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