We plan to move in together, my boyfriend took a loan and bought an apartment. How should we share the costs?
I'm having a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (10 000 kms). We lived together for some time, but then I had to come back to my country and finish my studies. Our initial plan was to rent an apartment together in his country. In the meantime his aunt offered to sell him an apartment for a very good price, so his dad lend him some money and he bought it. He asked me what I thnk about it, but I'm 10 000 kilometers away so I just said "Baby, it's your money, I haven't even seen this apartment, do what you think is right.". So he bought it and immediately got very attached to that place. Now he wants us to move into that very apartment and share the costs of installments, so basically we'll be paying back to his dad together, but eventually he will be the only owner of this apartment. Financially for me it's the same - to pay half of the rent to a landlord I don't know or to pay half of installments to my boyfriend, but... for me there is something plain wrong in offering your girlfriend to pay half of YOUR debts. By 'rent' I understand the payment you pay to someone for just living in his place, without fees for gas, electricity, water and so on. I don't want to use him, so I offered that we could rent an apartment anyway, like we initially planned, I'd pay my half, he'd pay his half and he could rent his own apartment out, so the money he gets for renting would pay his installments. He agreed on this solution, but he's not happy about it. I don't know where do those differences come, maybe those are cultural differences. All my friends are either renting an apartment together, or taking a loan together, or if one of them is lucky enough to own a property, the other person just moves in and covers his/her part of costs (food, electricity, gas, water, small renovations), without paying a rent. I asked people from my country and they were saying "If this relationship is serious for him, he should make her a co-owner of the part of that apartment, which is proportional to the amount she pays to him. If this relationship is not serious enough for him to do it, they should live like flatmates, sign a contract and she should pay him as much as he wants". So that's why I'm asking you guys: Maybe it's just a cultural difference and what's obvious for people from here is not obvious for people from there and vice versa. I'm leaving all my life here, friends, family and a d**n good job to be with him, and if it's not serious for him, then... it's just sad. And I really love this guy. Really-really. There is no other person in the whole world whos personality clicks so much with mine. Sooner or later I want to take a loan for my own apartment and I'll need to pay my own debts. Also, I'm not a big fan of co-owning anything, especially an apartment abroad. So, please tell me: Am I overreacting or is he just offering an unacepptable deal? Please, answer only if you're an adult: earning and dealing with your own apartment issues.
Asked By: Hunny - 12/17/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
It's just not that complicated and you are making a really, really common mistake: You are confusing realationship issues with business. The money issues in a relationship should have no bearing on your mutual feelings - let us say that in a perfect world the two should be separate issues, and you should try to make... More
Answered By: John D - 12/17/2012
Additional Answers (1)
If he were to buy it and renting it out as an investment he would need to cover the payments including any interest, property taxes, and repairs as needed, plus some for profit... More
Answered By: don_sv_az - 12/17/2012
Over 483 Local Jobs Now Hiring In Your Area. $18-$87/Hr - Apply Today!
Work At Home Jobs Make $87/HR, Jobs Seen On TV. Jobs Hiring Now
Over 465 Local Jobs Now Hiring In Your Area. $15-$80/Hr - Apply Today!
Click. Search. Apply. Free!
Other Career Questions
What is your current job? Why did you choose this job? What do you enjoy about your job? What do you dislike about your job? What would be your perfect job? Would you rather have this j...
Where are the jobs? Is productivity and globalization creating a permanent “recession” of jobs? My main issue is I am doing a paper for school and have no idea where to begin. I was hoping suggestions...
Hi ok im 19 and about to start college to do an acess course into a university. Ive been browsing through all the courses and im tottaly stuck! I thought politics but im scared ill end up with some r...
Content is not owned or controlled by Monster. Any content concerns should be addressed with Yahoo!
Yahoo! Does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any Yahoo! Answers content. Yahoo! Disclaimer.
Best-Paying Work-from-Home Jobs
It’s easier than ever to work from home. Of course, not every job is a mobile job, and some companies aren’t interested in having their employees work from home.
2013 Marketing Jobs Outlook
The US may be facing another year of anemic hiring overall, but that won't be the case in the high-orbit world of multichannel, digital media marketing.
2013 Engineering Jobs Outlook
Engineers will find job opportunities in select disciplines in 2013, with candidates who are all-around, client-oriented businesspeople in demand.
Best-Paying Jobs by Major
What could you earn with a particular four-year degree? Find out by checking out this list of the top-paying jobs for 20 of the most common majors.
Eight High-Paying, Secure Jobs
Want to earn a good salary and enjoy a measure of job security as well? Check out these well-paying jobs on tap for fast growth in the coming years.