Is this a good cover letter?

To whom it may concern, I am seeking a part-time job as Prestige Consultant. In this position I believe I could apply my outstanding customer service skills, team player attitude, and interest in makeup and beauty. I am currently attending Douglas J. Aveda Institute. Where I have learned and will continue to expand my knowledge in the business of the beauty world. In the cosmetology program, I interact with customers every day. I have acquired a vast amount of knowledge on customer service, retail, hair and make-up, and people person skills. I like working in a team environment, and I get along with people well. I am an outgoing, friendly person with strong communication skills. I have also been trained to apply make-up in an efficient and sanitary manner. I believe the joy I get from being great at my job and my enthusiastic personality would be an essential addition to your team. I enjoy educating people on products, application, and tips and tricks for at home. I love the feeling I get from making someone’s day and will go out of my way to do so. The beauty business is an interesting and fascinating world to me, and I am glad I have made this as a career choice. I believe I would be a great asset to Ulta because I have the knowledge and the skills to take on the position. If I was offered the position I would work hard to get the job done. Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely,

Asked By: Alexis - 12/18/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
outstanding. juts one correction - in the last sentence if I WERE offered..... - this is a conditional clause, u use were instead of was in 1 and 2 persons singular
Answered By: no mercy - 12/18/2012
Additional Answers (1)
"Where I learned..." is not a sentence. You need a comma after Institute. You say vast. Quantify the number of hours. Say something specific. Have you been complimented because you do outstanding eyes? Are you really great at your job? You sound as if you're overstating. How many customers on average do you care for?
Answered By: Lori J - 12/20/2012
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