How do I start over, my only child left for college, husband divorced me 6 months later?

I have no family, all I had was my daughter and my 2 nd husband. We were married 16 years. I was so lost and so alone I had a break down. I went back to my first husband (friends only) we have remained friends, but i thought he had stop drinking he is an alcoholic.I quit my job (big mistake.) I am now stuck here in this small town in Louisiana, all I have left is my car. I also blacked out for two months, and was arrested for having two xanax a misdemeanor first time arrested, I was asleep in my car, which I lived in two months. I am 48, I had a good job with home health, now I am afraid I will never get my job back, I am trying. My ex said he would give me a second chance, although I made mistakes he made mistakes to. The botttom line is that I love him. He says he loves me, but he is not in love with me? It started when he wanted to move from Tennessee back to Texas. He quit a good job with the telephone company and now works in the logging business which he makes no money at. But he is determined to stay it is a family thing. His mother hates me and told me she paid for the divorce. I just wish I had my family back, but it has been two years and I have been through hell. I have tried to get him back. I feel lost, alone and depressed. I am working on getting my job back, but I am still in louisiana with very little money, I have someone to stay with who is the sweetest lady, the Director of Nurses said, that she will do everything she can to help me. I was a good employee. But I am just tired, the This was just all to much for me. All I wanted to be was a wife and mother. I lost my home, family, job, moved so many times I cannot count them. I have been depressed,now taking anti-depressants. I just do not want to be alone. I need advice... It just seems hopeless I have tried everything nothing works, it is to the piont I am afraid to try. I have to drive to Tennesee again to try to get my job back, I have to renew my CPR and get nursing insurance plus gas money. My little odd eyed cat was run over, I finally got another one, I love him but I cannot take him or much else right now. I have given away, lost or sold everything I owned. Because with noone in my life I have no desire for material possessions. I am a fighter, I have overcome so much in life, but But I am just tired, at my age starting over alone is just scary.

Asked By: - 12/22/2012
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Honey, you are stronger than you know and you know it. Dust yourself off, stand up straight and stop running all over the place. Decide where you want to be and STAY PUT. The first thing for you to do is get a job. Any job. Once you are working, some of your self-esteem and confidence will begin to come back... More
Answered By: neutralparty - 12/22/2012
Additional Answers (4)
in this book lies a very special message for you, it will guide through this. I can only show you the door , you are the one that has to walk throu it.
Answered By: Scream - 12/22/2012
First, take a deep breath. Offer a word of thanks to God that you are a fighter and that you are thankful for your blessings. you did a great job as a wife and mother and have raised a good daughter. In times of adversity, it is difficult to ask for help. you need to ask for it and accept that you need help Get it... More
Answered By: reach-4-it - 12/22/2012
I just don't want to be alone is what you said. Why? Are you a boring person to be around? Are you so insignificant that you can't go to a movie by yourself and enjoy the movie? Are you so inept that you cannot write a check and pay a bill? Are you so stupid you can't read a book and the only activity you had was... More
Answered By: Mircat - 12/22/2012
Apply for a job, any job until you can afford to be picky, and get a functional boyfriend instead. That should about solve the problem.
Answered By: Nestor - 12/24/2012
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