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Can anyone assess my essay for IELTS Writing Task 2? Which band score will I receive from this essay?

QUESTION: Unemployment is one of the most serious problems facing developed nations today. What are the advantages and/or disadvantages of reducing the working week to thirty five hours? ANSWER: A lot of people from first-world country are facing troubles due to the lack of job opportunities. Moreover, some people are suggesting to deduct five hours to the duration of a normal workweek. In this essay, I will be discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having to work 35 hours per week. The theory behind cutting down the standard workweek into 35 hours is that companies are assumed to employ more employees to maximize the work production. Although this can be beneficial for the economy, this can lead to less salary for employees and more overhead costs for the companies. Furthermore, this might lead companies to bankruptcy which means more people will be out of work thus increasing the unemployment rate. Lastly, as the unemployment rate increases the economic rate will drop as well. In contrast to the above arguments, employees and employers can also gain positive results with this proposal. Employees having more time outside work can expand their horizons by taking up another course, exercising new hobbies and many more in their free time. In addition, employees can take another work in case they are not receiving enough salary from their current employee in order to suffice their daily needs. As these factors add up to the capabilities of the employee, this can have a positive effect to the employers as more experience of the employee means more contributions to the company. In conclusion, working less than five hours of the 40 hours norm can provide minimal benefit for the economy, employers and employees. In my opinion, shortening the workweek is not a great idea to tackle the unemployment issues as this will produce a negative long-term effect on the economy.

Asked By: - 1/10/2013
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I'd say this was around 6.5, you answer the question well but there are quite a few mistakes... More
Answered By: stapleton - 1/10/2013
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