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I am a student from China and I wrote a English composition, I need someone to help me mark it. Thanks?

I totally agree people spend money on traveling is better than saving money for future use. First, spending money on traveling can help people relax. People usually fell stressful on their working. After traveling, people can do their work effective. Maybe they can earn more money because of good job. Secondly, spending money on traveling can expand people horizon. On their journey, many charming and attractive view can be seen. They will have a better known of wonderful world. Some travel experiences can become unforgettable recollections in people's whole life. Thirdly, spending money on traveling can widen people's friends ' circle, for instance, some people met and become old friends when they were traveling in a group led by guide. It seems like that they both like traveling and have a lot of common hobbies. Though many people think saving money for future use is better because it can be used in rainy day. But in fact, no one will know what the future will be. The cost of travel is not very expensive. I think money is not a problem, what is the most from traveling is happiness. If people always work day and night and not have themselves relax like traveling , they will feel tired and maybe have physical and mental problem, that will cost more money. People don't need to worry about the future. Happiness so more significant than money. I think if people have suitable life style, they can make everything easier even when they face the rainy day. So spending money on traveling is valuable for everyone.

Asked By: - 1/15/2013
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I agree that spending money on traveling is better than saving money for future use. (if this is the 1st paragraph try to expand your thoughts... More
Answered By: Andrea Hedding - 1/15/2013
Additional Answers (2)
I would really love to help, but in actuality this whole paper needs to be rewritten sorry.
Source(s):
Answered By: Bobbie - 1/15/2013
 
Well, I can help correct some choppy sentences. In the first sentence change spend to spending, People usually fell (Feel*) and when they're working instead of on their working, people can do their work *more effectively*, *Maybe then they can earn more money because of their good job, Can expand people horizon (That... More
Source(s):
Answered By: Vance - 1/15/2013
 
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