How else can I screw with my kids?

	How else can I screw with my kids? I'm trying to think of ways to mess with my kid's heads. So far I've got: 1. Nod my head up and down when I say "no" and side to side for "yes" 2. make up gibberish words for common objects. 3. Die the milk blue or green at various times a year and tell them that's just what happens sometimes to milk. Then they will grow up thinking that the milk naturally turns colors on occasion and their friends will think they're insane. 4. Whenever i have to sign something for school, I will do it in pencil and erase several times, so it looks like they forged it and they will get into trouble. 5. Occasionally I'll make a chocolate-type dessert and cover it with gray, coarse sugar and pretend I picked it out of the cat litter box, and then I'll eat it after dinner. But, I'll treat it how adults treat alcohol and say things like "no, you can't have any. This is only for adults. Kids wouldn't like cat poop" 6. Have a room or door that's always locked and tell them their older bother lives there and can't come out. If they ask why, I'll say, "He really didn't do anything wrong, he just wasn't that interesting". 7. Give them odd chores like dust the underside of all the tables and shelves and have them count to make sure all 200 tooth picks came in the box. (that actually might be educational). 8. Tell them that indeed money does grow on trees. My job is to harvest the money and then put it in the bank. That's where I go all day. I will sometimes glue money to the trees outside to confirm this truth. 9. Make up a wonderful place better than Disney World and tell them we'll get there eventually. Keep telling them this until they're old enough to realize I'm lying. (this one is probably too mean). 10. Tell them there's a God. (I actually don't find this one very entertaining, I just wanted to say it first before any people in Y!A world say it.) Any other suggestions? I'm looking for humorous answers Jack. Thumbs down to you for being so serious. Sorry I wasted your precious time while you're answering stranger's random questions. By bad. Didn't realize you were so busy. I like the history one. Or possibly that slavery was just abolished like 10 years ago and every black person you see is just recently free. Thanks Rikki. Exactly what i'm looking for. The Oreo one is great. I guess this joke is over your head Mom? Fun fact: There was a time in my life when my shoe size was larger than my age i.e. I was 11 wearing a size 12. Asked By: Not The Mamma - 1/29/2013

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Here are other things you can do :p Surprise! Put snickers and toilet paper in all d toilets and bathtubs/showers. Juice or Water? Fill a glass with water. Add food dye so it matches the color of whatever juice you have in your refrigerator. Serve the "juice" to your family. They will be expecting something sweet and getting water so it will taste funny at first. Don't forget to watch the funny faces they make! Wrong Cereal Here's another prank you can do at breakfast: open up all the boxes of cereal and pull the bags with the cereal in them out of the boxes. Put each bag in a wrong cereal box. When your family members go to pour their cereal they will get the wrong kind! Salty Strawberry You'll need to prepare for this one. Bring two identical containers with one holding sugar and one holding salt. Also have strawberries. Don't show anyone your salt container. Have the sugar container out and start to eat your strawberries. Offer one to your friends and have them take one. Before they dip it in the sugar, call out something like, "Ewww, what's that?" and point to the other side of the room. Quickly pull the salt container and switch it with the sugar. Then they'll dip it in salt and their face will turn green. Everyone will laugh at the joke and so will the kid that eats it... although he may not eat strawberries with sugar anymore. Minty Delicious Scrape the cream out of Oreo cookies and fill them with white toothpaste! time Warp Turn all the clocks and watches forward one hour. Your 'rents will get up an hour earlier to get ready for work as you snooze for that extra hour. Bouncing Showers Sleepover - When all the girls are sleeping, get all your ribbons and tie them in the girls' hair (at least 10 each) They'll wake up with really messy hair. LOL. - When all the girls are sleeping, get washable markers and write all over them with the markers. They'll wake up and look in the mirror and be like, "what's that all over me?" It's hilarious to see the look on their face! - For any sleeping girl, put their hand in a bowl of hot water. This will make them wet their pants! - For the first girl that is sleeping, carry them out of the tent and lay them in their sleeping bag outside in the grass or on a trampoline. They'll wake up and be like, "Where am I?" It's hilarious! Help! Umm something's missing! - Steal all the toilet paper from the bathroom and the next person that goes #2 will be in for a little surprise! - Steal all the towels and shampoos from the showers… you get the point… they'll have a small problem. Early Riser Get about three alarm clocks and set them all up for very early times. Hide all of the clocks in your victim's room and they'll have to get up and find them. By then they will be fully awake! It's hilarious if you're awake to see it! School on Saturday? On Saturday at a late time, yell, "Hurry up we're late for school!" then watch all of your family members race against the clock to get out of the house as fast as they can! Then let them in on the prank once they are all done! It's just too funny! BTW they may get a little mad… J hehe Raccoon eyes Before you go to a concert or something that you us binoculars for, gather all of your family's and friend's binoculars and put black marker, charcoal, or black pastel where the eyes go. Watch as they look into them and end up with raccoon eyes! Its hilarious to see the look on everyone's face that sees your family's "raccoon eyes". They may get a little mad when they find out though... J (BTW this also works with a telescope) Answered By: Rikki - 1/29/2013

Additional Answers ()

Tell them they can find a new father by calling social services. Then the joke will be on you. Answered By: Jack - 1/29/2013

Heres a suggestion stick to masterbating and stop wasting people's time Answered By: Scatteredmist - 1/29/2013

First, i would just like to say, you are my freakin' hero!!! i have been trying to come up with things like this as well. may i suggest, teaching your children something fundamentally wrong about history. like that m.l.k. jr. was pro slavery, or that gerald ford was the first black us president. Source(s): still though, you are my hero! Answered By: Random Guy - 1/29/2013

Im all up for a joke here.... but what your doing is being cruel... act your age, not your shoe size edit::: awe boo hoo baby thumbed me down.... like i care? cps should be on you. Answered By: Upset Mom - 1/29/2013

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