Single Mom needs financial advice?
Here is my situation: I am 27 and have been a single mother from the beginning. As of recently is the first time I have received child support (my daughter is 6 and in kindergarten). I have been going to school and have a license as a massage therapist. I have also been pursuing my bachelor's degree on and off since 2004, and I am about 30 hours shy of the degree. I had to quit school (long story, the school screwed me to get financial aid) so my father agreed to help pay. It was too taxing to be working 30 hrs a week, also on weekends sometimes, and doing massaged on occasion in my home as well, on top of volunteer service 60 hrs (required for school), homework for my 12 hours I am enrolled, and helping my daughter with homework, with also being a mother,and running the household (ie. business, errands, cooking, etc. etc.) My daughter and I have gone from living in public housing, receiving welfare of all kinds to now just receiving a small amount of food stamps, medical, and we now live on section 8, and I pay for all the bills. I live in a town where I have no friends or family (I moved here for school)...but I am sick of living in poverty. I am sick of my daughter growing up, and I am always depressed about money. I am a spend-thrift, and I rarely buy anything but necessities/occasional thrills so my daughter can have some fun. I don't socialize or waste time, and I am always looking for jobs and anything I can do to help us rise out of this poverty. I was raised very wealthy, so to live like this is very very depressing for me. I am working my a** off, and it seems I am getting little to nowhere. I can no longer go to school and work because it is not a possibility unless I completely ignore and neglect my daughter. Sorry for the long introduction but it is needed to ask my question. So here goes....I feel desperate! I feel there is no way out of this hellhole singleparenting, and getting off government assistance. I have often fantasized about becoming a stripper (at one point I was a cocktail waitress at a strip club), and I tried it one time. I have lots of student/medical debt for years to pay off. My car is paid off, so I just pay for maintenance, my phone is being covered by my father, and lately he has been giving me about $500 every now and then to help make ends meat (if I even buy 2 pairs of shoes for us, and a few clothes for my daughter it puts us in great financial difficulty). I know few jobs where I can have flexibility that I need (I refuse to put my daughter in before AND after care, as she already goes to before care in school 3 x's a week) <--it is not a very good program. We eat a certain diet, and have certain morals, so the less time she is with others (ie. childcare/school) the better. I have always wished to homeschool her, and see that given my situation it seems impractical. I really want to move to Asheville, NC because there are many people there that eat the same diet we do, and in general is a society that supports my beliefs. However, I feel my dream is being crushed due to money. I feel that my only option is to move back to my hometown where my mom has agreed that we can split our work so that my daughter can have the quality time she deserves. The problem is...it won't actually be as supportive as my mother says. She will end up neglecting her in many ways like she did us (ie. let us eat whatever, and rarely bathe us)...so I don't know if I can trust my mother's word. Another thing is..my hometown does not have the society/community that we need to thrive nor a job field that will support what I do currently as massage therapy. I have no idea what profession I can have WITHOUT a degree/education that will allow me to have the flexibility so that I can have my daughter as much as I want. I am feeling so desperate for money, but I know my family would NEVER approve of stripping if they were to find out, what would I say to people who asked what I do, and I don't know if I even approve of that. I am into all natural everything, but I see this is one of the only professions that allows for what I want (ie. MOTHER MY CHILD) and pay bills. The reality is that isn't a career forever, and I need to make serious decisions for long-term. I want to move to NC, homeschool my daughter, and have a career that is flexible and allows us to NOT live paycheck or be hustling people (massage)<---an unstable work field. Please help... :(
Asked By: Jane - 4/23/2013
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Ok wow, that was a book! Ok so here is the deal and what I'm about to write might not be options for you but they might help... More
Answered By: Chazz - 4/23/2013
Additional Answers (2)
So, your dilemma is that you refuse to put your child in daycare more hours a week? But, aren't you on subsidized rent, healthcare, food and your dad is paying your phone bill... More
Answered By: Ann - 4/24/2013
I believe that if you have something people want, there is no harm in giving it to them. Why not? That said, do it with a purpose, set a goal and follow through. Use stripping to provide a path to a better life. Use the money to get job training or a skill or go to college.
Answered By: Greg P - 4/24/2013
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